


Dark Morning

by HR4



Series: Harry and Ruth A [2]
Category: Spooks | MI-5
Genre: Bombs, F/M, Gen, Love, Marriage, Other, Pregnancy, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-01
Updated: 2014-01-05
Packaged: 2018-01-07 01:26:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1113882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HR4/pseuds/HR4
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Follows on from New Beginning, but not necessary to have read that first. Harry and Ruth are on their honeymoon in Paris. But the grid follows them everywhere. Multi chapter from the end of series nine onwards.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Harry stared at his mobile phone, wishing it would stop ringing. He was on his honeymoon in Paris and the last thing he wanted was reminders of terrorist atrocities. Ruth stared at him knowing he was going to have to answer it. It was a brief conversation, consisting of one word sentences from Harry's end. Ruth could barely grasp the English language at this time in the morning, so she couldn’t concentrate on what he was saying. Harry disconnected the call and looked at Ruth, biting his lip.

"The real world still out there?" she asked with a small smile.

"I have to go and sort something out," Harry replied evasively. She wasn’t going to ask, because right now, she just didn’t care. The bed was too comfortable.

"Tell you what?" Ruth said calmly. "You go deal with Beth, Dimitri and whoever else you have to and I'll get dressed and have breakfast. Meet you outside the hotel in an hour?" Harry smiled at her pragmatism. “For some sight seeing?”

"That sounds like a very good idea," Harry said with a smile. He lent over his wife and kissed her thoroughly. He gave her swollen abdomen a brief kiss too, loving the fact that she was carrying his child, before leaving their hotel room and walking out to the Parisian streets. He picked up his phone and started dealing with the latest crisis.

* * *

 

Half an hour later everything wasn’t sorted, but he‘d done everything he could from a different city. Beth and Dimitri knew what they were doing, and he‘d given his temporary replacement some advice. Jones was young and inexperienced, but very able. He just lacked confidence. Harry was just about to go back to his wife when his phone rang again.

"This had better be good," he said quietly, the threat clear in his voice.

"Harry!" Dimitri's voice rang out, incredibly worried and he was instantly alert. "We've just got intelligence from a high Russian asset with links to a French terror group we've been working on."

"Get to the point," Harry said not in the mood to follow an informants confusing trail.

"Bombs are being planted to detonate in Paris as we speak," Dimitri said. Harry's blood ran cold for a second.

"How many?" Harry asked, starting to run back to Ruth's hotel.

"We estimate it's a dozen bombs set to go off simultaneously," Dimitri replied. "No information on the targets. Could be anywhere in the city."

"Thank you for that assessment," Harry said sarcastically as he approached the street their hotel was on. He was about to ask another question when his eardrums felt like they had exploded. He was unable to move for several seconds. Or it might have been minutes. He was looking at a Parisian landscape, covered with smoke, rising from several buildings in all directions. Without bothering to say goodbye to Dimitri, he disconnected the call and ran to the hotel. He got around the corner before he saw it. It had been hit, and there was smoke rising from the building, half of the top floors had clearly been damaged, and the building was creaking ominously. It looked on the verge of collapse and people were beginning to scream. **_Ruth_**. He called Ruth's mobile in desperation. Which went straight through to answer phone. Over and over again. “Pick up the phone!” He growled with equal parts fear and anger.

* * *

 

Ruth had had her shower and was finishing getting dressed when it happened. She was smiling, thinking of all the possibilities that her life with Harry had to offer. She spent a minute admiring both her engagement and her wedding rings. She stroked her stomach, feeling the endless possibilities in front of her with joy. The smile couldn't be contained inside. It burst out onto her face, and that was when she heard it. What sounded suspiciously like a bomb blast. She had seen enough at Thames House over the years to know what was about to happen. But somehow it seemed different when it was happening to you. Slower. And a lot more threatening. Ruth stared at the ceiling of her hotel room as it suddenly came crashing down on top of her. She winced waiting for the impact to hit her and she didn’t even feel it, as everything went black.

* * *

 

Harry stood outside the smouldering remains of the hotel they had been staying in. Knowing that Ruth was inside was killing him. Emergency services arrived relatively quickly but Harry wanted to run in that building and get her out. She had to be okay. She just had to be. After everything they’d been through, she couldn’t die due to sheer unlucky chance.

It took about an hour for ambulances to start getting people out on stretchers. None of them looked in very good condition and Harry was desperately trying to keep hold of hope. Every time someone came out of the rubble he prayed it was her. When it wasn't he lost a little bit more of his sanity.

Eventually he felt a leap of his heart when someone else came out of the wreckage. He knew it was her with certainty, even before he could see her properly. His heart told him so. He ran towards the stretcher and saw he was right. Her dark hair was matted with blood on one side of her head. But her face was moving. She was definitely alive.

"Ruth!" he said desperately. He was close enough to touch her, the paramedics hadn't held him back, mainly because it was clear he wasn't going to be stopped by anyone. She didn't open her eyes but her face twitched in his direction, lips curling in a slight smile.

"Ruth," he repeated in a slightly calmer voice as she was being carried into the back of an ambulance. He grasped her hand tightly as if him willing it would make her get better.

"Harry," she murmured weakly. He felt a surge of relief as she spoke his name. "What happened?" she asked slowly as the ambulance started to drive off to the hospital.

"Bomb blasts all over Paris," Harry said, unwilling to share more information because the paramedics were listening closely. Ruth smiled, still with her eyes shut.

"Bloody typical," she murmured. Harry smiled at her tightly. This was more like the Ruth he knew and loved. "I've changed my mind. We should go back to London as soon as possible." Harry watched her as she spoke and became increasingly worried. He could see it was taking too much of her limited energy to speak.

"Don't talk," he said quietly. "Save your strength." Her hold on his hand was getting weaker as they approached the hospital and that worried him no end. Come on, he prayed silently to a God he didn't really believe in. _Just hang on._


	2. Chapter 2

 

Harry had spent the last four hours pacing the hospital waiting room. On the way to the hospital she had started to cough up blood. Harry knew enough to know that was a really bad sign. As soon as Ruth had reached the hospital she had been rushed into emergency surgery. Apparently she had internal injuries which couldn't wait and she was lucky to still be alive. To kill time he called Dimitri at Thames House.

"What the hell happened?" Harry asked as soon as he picked up the phone.

"Are you okay?" Dimitri said with concern.

"No, I am not bloody okay!" Harry shouted down the phone. "A bomb went off in our hotel and Ruth was caught up in it."

"Yeah, all the bombs look like they were in high end Parisian hotels. Is she all right?"

"No, she is not all right!” Harry said angrily. He breathed in deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose to calm down and to try and stop shouting. This wasn’t Dimitri‘s fault and Harry knew he was only shouting out of fear. “She's in emergency surgery right now. It's by chance that she's still alive as it is." Harry took another deep breath, trying not to think about the fact that Ruth or his child could be dying somewhere in this hospital.

"I'm so sorry Harry," Dimitri said quietly. Harry didn't know what to say so he said nothing. Then he noticed that a doctor was approaching him.

"I have to go. Try and avoid killing anyone else while I'm gone." Dimitri didn't bother replying, knowing that this wasn’t really Harry talking. He was scared.

"How is she?" Harry asked the doctor instantly.

"We've managed to stop the internal bleeding," he said in a French accent. "It actually wasn't been as bad as we had first thought. We've stitched her head injury as well, we're not sure what damage will be from that so we'll be taking some scans when she's recovered significantly from the surgery. Maybe in a couple of days. She's in the recovery wing right now."

"What about the baby?" Harry asked, not knowing if he wanted to hear the answer or not.

"It’s too early to be certain," the doctor said slowly. "Because it’s so early in her pregnancy we can't tell what damage there is to the baby. When she's awake and on her way to health, we'll do a scan which we will check to see if everything's okay with the foetus."

"So you think she definitely will wake up?" Harry asked trying to hang onto the positives, rather than the crippling fear threatening to overwhelm her.

"We're optimistic," he replied.

"Can I see her?" The doctor nodded and led the way to her hospital room. It seemed to take ages to get there, though in reality it was probably no more than a few minutes, if that. The doctor opened the door and moved to go in first but Harry was too quick for him. He barged through the door and saw Ruth lying on a hospital bed. She looked so pale and close to death it terrified him. He sat next to her and held her hand tightly. She seemed so cold and small. He closed his eyes, remembering her laughter in bed that very morning. Now long gone.

"Please wake up," he said quietly, not really expecting anything to happen. He wasn't disappointed. He kept hold of her hand for longer than he knew, aware of nothing but her fingers in his grasp. Soon darkness was falling outside of Ruth's window. He suddenly became aware of time again.

"I'm going to go and make some calls Ruth," he told her quietly. He kissed her cheek and left the room quickly before he could change his mind.

He needed some fresh air, to breathe in without that horrible hospital smell in his nostrils, so he walked out of the endless sterile corridors until he was outside. Harry dialled the grid, needing some answers about the laxities in the French security service. Dimitri picked up after only two rings of the phone.

"How is she?" he asked without any preliminary.

"Stable for the time being," Harry replied. "She got through surgery, which is the main thing. Tell me that the French excuse for a security service have made some progress yet?"

"Well, they were all suicide bombers," Dimitri said. "So there's no one left to arrest really."

"That fills me with hope," Harry said sarcastically. "What's the death toll?" he asked out of habit more than anything else. He certainly had no desire to know from a personal level. From a professional one though, he’d always ask in a case like this.

"High. So far its one hundred and thirty two," Dimitri said. "Looks like its going to go up drastically though."

"Thank you," Harry said menacingly. "I'm glad I called you now."

"Oh God, I'm sorry Harry," Dimitri said feeling like an idiot. "I didn't mean…"

"Is Beth there?" Harry asked cutting him off. "I could do with talking to someone who has an ounce of sensitivity."

"Harry," Beth said with concern. "How is she?"

"Okay," Harry said briefly.

"Can I do anything?" Beth asked. “Anything at all.”

"Not really," Harry said. "I just… I'm so scared she isn't going to wake up." This was so unlike him. To admit fear, even to himself, let alone someone else.

"She'll pull through, Harry," Beth said reassuring him. "She's tough. You know how stubborn she is when she sets her mind to something."

Harry smiled briefly. "Yes, that's true. Look, I should go. I don't like being away from her for too long."

"Of course," Beth said. "Call if you need anything."

"I will, thanks," Harry said turning his phone off. He walked back into the hospital and went into Ruth's room which took a couple of minutes. He noticed immediately that something was wrong. There were three doctors in the room looking at her charts with worried frowns on their faces. They were mumbling in French and kept throwing Ruth wary glances.

"What’s happened?" Harry asked desperately.

"Her heart stopped. Temporarily," the doctor added after seeing the look of horror on Harry's face.

"How is that possible?" he growled, taking hold of her hand again.

"Her body has been under a lot of stress throughout the day," the doctor said slowly. "This is just the reaction to the trauma, and then the surgery. We shocked her heart and revived her. She should be stable now."

"Should?" Harry inquired with a dangerous tone in his voice.

"Please, try and remain calm," the doctor said. "We're doing all we can."

"I know you are," Harry said before rubbing his hands over his face desperately. "I can't lose her," he said to himself. He stayed there silently until everyone had left the room except the two of them. He kissed her cheek gently.

"Please don't leave me," he whispered into her ear. "It wasn't supposed to be like this. We didn’t get through everything, for you to die on me now. Don't leave me." Ruth's face stayed blank pale and expressionless, no matter how tightly he held her hand.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry had stayed in her hospital room all night. There had been no change and he wasn’t sure if that should be worrying or reassuring. It suddenly occurred to him that all of their travel documents had been in their hotel room which had been blown up. Neither of them had their passports. He left Ruth's room to call Beth so she could fix it. It wouldn't be a problem. A minute later he went back to sit next to Ruth. He couldn't bear to be away from her for too long. If the worst happened and she died, and he wasn’t there, he would never forgive himself. He took her hand as was his usual position and he suddenly knew something wasn't right. It was as if he was no longer alone and he looked at his wife‘s face intensely.

"Ruth," Harry said in a calm voice that contrasted drastically with the way he was feeling. "Ruth can you hear me?" He waited for a long moment as he felt one of her fingers twitch within his grasp. It was a tiny movement but it was most definitely there.

"Ruth, move your hand again if you can hear me," Harry said in a slow and clear voice. She did, with two fingers this time. Harry smiled in relief. "Can you open your eyes?" he asked. "I desperately want to see them again. Your beautiful blue eyes." He watched her face as her eyes flickered open slowly.

"Hi," she said in a very hoarse voice.

"Oh, thank you God," Harry said, leaning forward and kissing her cheek. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've had a bus rammed into me," she said slowly.

"Good," Harry said forcefully. "It means you're still alive," he added at her questioning look.

"So what's the damage?" Ruth asked, closing her eyes again. She didn't want to look at him when he told her how bad her injuries were and whether she was still a pregnant woman or not, as she feared she might not be.

"You were bleeding internally so you had to have emergency surgery," Harry said quietly. "It was your liver and a kidney. You've also split your head open so that had to be stitched up. They want to do some scans on your brain now you're awake to check that everything's okay."

"What about the baby?" she asked in a whisper, daring to look at him. She knew that if she looked at him, he couldn’t lie to her.

"I don't know yet," Harry said, trying to hold his heart together as he spoke. "They were planning to do an ultrasound when you regained consciousness."

"Okay," Ruth said slowly. "When we get home can we never leave London again?" she asked with a small smile.

"I promise we can do whatever you want," Harry said.

"I must have been close to dying if you're not even going to bother arguing with me," Ruth said. She could see the fear clouding his eyes and hated that she had put him through that. "How many died?" Ruth asked. The analyst in her needed to know.

"Beth told me that its gone up to 161 people," Harry said. "And you are NOT becoming one of that number. Do you understand me?"

"Yes," Ruth said meekly.

"I'm going to get the doctor now you're awake," Harry said after a moments silence.

"Wait," Ruth said quietly. Harry turned and faced her. "Kiss me." Harry didn't need telling twice. He leant over her and kissed her gently on the lips.

"Don't you go anywhere," Harry said. "If you die on me, I'll kill you."

"Okay, I get the message," Ruth said, watching as her husband left the room. She put a hand over her stomach and prayed that the baby was still safe. She didn't know how she would be able to cope if she had managed to lose it.

* * *

 

"Harry, you are driving me crazy," Ruth said sitting up in bed. She had come out of unconsciousness the day before and had progressively gotten stronger and more irritable. Her brain scans had come out clear showing no brain damage from the bang on the head she had suffered and she was out of immediate danger. Harry had been with her every hour of the day and as much as she loved that he was worried about her, he was starting to get on her nerves.

"I'll just go and get something to eat," Harry said, sensing he was getting in the way.

"Thank you," Ruth said, closing her eyes in relief. He kissed her before leaving her room. Ruth felt very relieved to have a few minutes alone to think. She was subconsciously rubbing her wedding ring with her hand when the door opened and a doctor came in, wheeling a machine.

"I'm Doctor Melissa Gerard," she said briefly. "A neonatal specialist. We're going to do your ultrasound to see how things are progressing with the baby," she said, switching the machine on.

"Tell me honestly," Ruth said, needing to know the truth. "Tell me what to expect when you hook me up to that machine."

The woman sighed. "Maybe we should wait for your husband to…"

"No, I need to know now," Ruth said. "He's worried enough as it is. I just want to be prepared for the worst. Should I be?"

Melissa sighed. "You have been through an awful lot physically. It is very possible that the baby’s heart will have stopped because of the trauma." Ruth nodded and looked at her hands, her worst fears confirmed. “Have you felt any kicks since you regained consciousness?”

“No,” Ruth said. “But I havent felt any at all before this happened. I thought it was too early.” There was just a hint of a question in the statement.

“Women feel it at different stages,” she said. Ruth looked very crestfallen so she continued. "But its possible that the baby will be fine.”

"Don't lie to me," Ruth said. "It’s not very likely is it?"

"No," Melissa said after a pause. "But if we find a regular heartbeat, everything will be okay."

"But you're not expecting to are you?" Ruth said practically. The silence was enough. "Thank you for telling me the truth," she said. Ruth took several deep breaths, trying to calm down. She felt deeply glad that the first time she heard her worst fears, Harry hadn't been in the room. Because if he had been she'd have to try to hold herself together with his sympathy. Which would have been impossible and even worse than hearing it alone because she‘d have fallen apart within his comforting arms.

By the time Harry came back in, Ruth had managed to pull herself together. He had been standing outside of her room and had heard the whole conversation but he chose not to mention it. Ruth clearly hadn't wanted him to hear and worry even more than he already was. Harry kissed the top of her head as they both waited for the judgement to be announced.

Ruth stared at the screen as she felt the cold gel on her stomach, almost as cold as the dread in her soul. She knew her own heartbeat was franticly fast with worry. Harry was holding her hand tightly as they both waited and the doctor smiled briefly as a rapid muffled bumping sound filled the room.

"That noise is your baby’s heartbeat," Melissa said as the noise filled the silence of the room. Ruth looked at the screen blankly.

"So it’s okay?" Ruth asked quietly. "The baby's okay?"

"Yes," Melissa said. "It's a tough little one," she added smiling at Ruth, who promptly burst into tears.

"It’s okay," Harry said quietly, stroking her hair softly. "This is good. It's good news."

"I know," Ruth said in between sobs. "I was convinced everything wouldn't be okay. I thought…"

"I know exactly what you thought," Harry said. He kissed the top of her head while she wiped the tears away impatiently. Neither of them needed to say anything more. After a moment Harry turned to the doctor.

"Are you sure the baby is okay?" he asked quietly.

"Yes," Melissa said. "It’s not been affected by the explosion. Everything should be just fine." The doctor left the room and Ruth continued crying into Harry's shirt. He kept stroking her hair until the tears subsided, a long time later.


	4. Chapter 4

"It is good to be home," Ruth said sitting on the sofa and closing her eyes for a moment as she stretched her legs out, feeling relaxed for the first time in days. Harry watched her anxiously. "Stop it," she said with her eyes closed.

"Stop what?"

"Worrying about me. And the baby. It’s nice to know you care, but it’s unnecessary and highly irritating."

"I can't help it," he said sitting next to her and holding her hand. "I waited too long to have you in my life. I won't lose you now."

"I have been poked and prodded by more doctors than I care to remember. I am fine. We are fine," she added, putting her palm over her rounded stomach.

"Okay," Harry said in a more normal voice. He kissed her hand gently and left to put the kettle on. Ruth kept stroking her expanding stomach softly and by the time Harry came back in, she was sleeping peacefully. Harry smiled at her, wondering if anything in the world had ever looked more beautiful.

Ruth woke up to find herself alone. She went into the kitchen to find a note from Harry.

_Ruth,_

_I had to go to Thames House. I didn’t have the heart to disturb you. Stay at home and get some rest. You are not to come into work under any circumstances. I love you. H xxx._

Ruth smiled and picked up the home phone to call through to Harry's office.

"Yes?" Harry asked in a tense voice.

"What crisis is it this time?" Ruth asked with a smile, just from hearing his voice.

"You're meant to be resting," Harry said in a slightly softer voice that she knew was reserved especially for her.

"I am," Ruth said. "If I get anymore sleep I'll slip into a coma out of sheer boredom. Now, who is it threatening to blow us up or destroy central London?"

"I'm not telling you anything," Harry said. "If I do, you will either worry or turn up at Thames House and attempt to start work. I don't want that."

"Fine," Ruth said knowing when she was beaten. She was a stubborn person, but she knew that Harry was more than a match for her. "How long are you going to be?"

"A few hours at least," Harry said. "You know how it is."

"Yes, I do," Ruth said smiling. "Just promise me you'll wake me up when you get in."

"Ruth, you're recovering from surgery. You have to save your strength…"

"It’s either that or I take a taxi to Thames House right now because I want to see you. I need to see you."

"Okay," Harry said smiling at her, even though she couldn't see him. "I love you."

"Love you too," Ruth said, feeling herself fill with a bubble of happiness. She put the phone down only half wishing she was at Thames House.

* * *

 

Ruth had a shower to relax herself, letting the hot water run over her skin. When she got out she examined her body critically in the mirror. Her stomach had taken on a slight curve, the babies presence showing itself. Ruth felt a twinge of pain as she saw the scar from her surgery. She touched the length of it, thanking God that it was far enough away from the baby. She knew it would fade but a part of her vanity hated how it looked. But it was a small trade off if it meant she got to keep her life, she reasoned logically. And their child’s life, she reminded herself.

Sighing she threw her dressing gown on and turned around to go back into the bedroom. She jumped out of her skin when she realised Harry was watching her from the bathroom door.

"Oh God!" she hissed, shocked, trying to get her breath back. "I wasn't expecting you for ages yet."

"I missed you," Harry said quietly approaching her. Ruth couldn't look away from his eyes as if she were magnetised. He stroked a hand down her damp cheek and slowly ran his fingers through her wet hair. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to give in to his touch. He made her feel in a way no one else ever had before. His lips gently brushed her own in an all too brief kiss. She needed more of him. So much more. He could tell and his hands wrapped themselves around her back, pulling her close against him, her dressing gown and his clothes getting in the way of skin to skin contact.

"You're beautiful," he murmured against her skin when her lips were free. "No scar will change that." Ruth blushed slightly and looked away from him. He moved his hand to her chin and made her look at him. "I mean it," Harry said firmly. "You take my breath away." He didn't give her a chance to say anything because he kissed her more intensely. Ruth gasped as his lips inched down her neck, making her skin tingle. Then he moved lower, pushing the fabric of her dressing gown aside as he went. Her breathing was becoming heavier and she stopped him by putting a hand on his head.

"Wait." He looked at her confused and a little hurt. "I'm too old to do this on the bathroom floor," she said with a grin. Harry smiled and took her hand, taking her through to the bedroom with an eagerness of a man half his age.

* * *

 

"So what was yesterdays disaster?" Ruth asked getting dressed the following morning. She hadn't asked the night before because sex and a nakedHarry had distracted her. Harry sighed, not wanting to burden her. "Come on," Ruth said firmly. "You want to tell me. I know you do. You want to confide in me, and you know perfectly well that I'll find out anyway eventually."

"Okay," Harry said heavily. Deep down he knew he needed to talk to Ruth so he didn't put up much of an argument. "The Japanese," Harry said. "There's a splinter terror group, freedom for the Japanese. The FJ. They seem to have no other ideology than attempting to blow up as many cities as they can. Hatred of corporations seems to be at the top of their list. They want to go back to simpler times where greed was much less."

"They want a fairytale," Ruth said plainly.

"Yes." Harry felt better just by simply explaining the situation to his wife. "As you know a bomb went off in Beijing a few weeks ago. It was the FJ. Now the Chinese are…"

"Unhappy?" Ruth said mildly, interrupting him.

"Yes," Harry said. "They caught the individual members but the FJ were frustrated by their treatment and retaliated by detonating bombs in Berlin and Madrid over the last few days.

"I hadn't heard about that," Ruth said, frowning. She was annoyed about her lack of information. She needed to have a brain full of knowledge to feel secure and missing something made her feel like her stomach had sunk a few notches lower than normal.

"There was a press blackout," Harry said. "The Chinese asked nicely and they don't like being ignored. Especially because if you don’t listen to their polite request, it turns into a demand. Plus you've been recovering from surgery and haven't been near a computer in nearly three weeks. I think you can be forgiven for your unusual lack of brilliance.

"Even so…" Ruth said a little put out. "I should know these things." Harry kissed her slowly, loving how much she cared about her job. He let her go and then continued explaining.

"The FJ tried France but the members were caught. They would have got Paris too but its security went up after…" Harry didn't want to think about that. Ruth in pain was not something he liked to dwell on.

"Okay," Ruth said squeezing his hand gently. "I'm guessing this is your way of telling me they are targeting London next. How big are these guys?"

"We don't know but large enough to pull of bombs in three different capital cities," Harry replied.

"Okay," Ruth said picking up her boots and slipping them on.

"What do you think you're doing?" Harry asked as she pulled the zips up.

"Getting ready for work," Ruth said blankly avoiding looking at him.

"Not a chance," Harry said stubbornly. "You are recovering from major surgery, you are pregnant. You're not going into Thames House today."

"Yes I am," Ruth said calmly, not wanting to get into an argument. She knew that she was right.

"Ruth…"

"If I weren't married to you, if I wasn't pregnant, would you need your senior analyst today?" Harry's silence was answer enough. "I'm going in to work. So either accept it, or I'll wait until you leave and then take a taxi. Then you'll have to throw me off of the grid because I won't leave of my own accord." He still didn’t speak. “Harry, you need me.”

Harry looked at her closely, breathing heavily. She had a point. "Okay. But you are going home at five okay? I don't care what happens today. You are looking after that baby properly. I don't want another day like that one in Paris when I thought I'd lost both of you." His eyes were burning with intent and she knew he was serious.

"Yeah," she agreed, knowing this was concern for her. She loved how much he cared about both her and the baby. She kissed him slowly and felt him rest a hand on her stomach gently. Ruth felt so safe and happy that she never wanted the kiss to end.


	5. Chapter 5

Ruth and Harry walked onto the grid together. He still wasn't happy that she was back at work but knew that further arguing wasn't going to help.

"Ruth!" Beth greeted her eagerly, pleased that she was back. "How are you? Are you sure you should be back so soon?"

"No," Harry said glumly without looking at either woman, walking straight to his office.

"He seems mad," Beth said sitting behind her desk as Ruth followed her.

"He wants me at home, lying in bed asleep," Ruth said sharply. "Not trawling through MI5's database looking for Japanese terrorists. He's just worried about me." She couldn't feel angry at Harry for too long. Not when she remembered how much he cared about her. How much he loved her. Even if his behaviour was annoying at times.

"Are you okay?" Beth asked seriously.

"Yeah," Ruth said honestly. "I'm just glad that the baby’s okay." She put a hand over her stomach as her computer booted itself up.

"You gave us all a scare you know," Beth said. "Don't blame Harry for being so overprotective."

"I know," Ruth said beginning to type.

"He thought you were going to die," Beth replied. Ruth looked at her keyboard, unable to rest her eyes anywhere else. She was spared having to reply by Dimitri's appearance on the grid.

"Hi Be… Ruth, you're back!" he said loudly.

"Good to know I vanish when another woman comes on the grid," Beth said sarcastically, raising her eyebrows at Dimitri. He ignored her.

"How are you?" Dimitri asked, sitting on Beth's desk.

"Fine," Ruth replied. Harry came out from his office at the same time as Tariq came in.

"We have a problem," Harry said, his eyes resting on Ruth. "Some probable members of the FJ have been traced by immigration coming into the UK through Gatwick airport." Ruth sighed and began typing away, checking databases as Tariq looked at the CCTV. Harry continued talking but Ruth wasn't paying a lot of attention, focused as she was trying to track the Japanese. She knew he was watching her, waiting for her to do something. She didn't oblige. Eventually he retreated to his office and Ruth typed him an email as her face recognition software started its work.

_Please stop worrying about me. Your eyes are burning a hole in the back of my computer screen. Do some work. Love you. R x_

Harry read it the instant she sent it. He smiled briefly and looked at her intensely through the glass of his office. After a long moment he typed back.

_I just worry about you. Both of you. This isn't exactly the most peaceful area for you to be resting. Love you too. H x_

Ruth read it with a smile, was about to type back when she froze as the face recognition did its job.

"Oh, that's not good," she murmured. Three Japanese men with FJ connections were walking through Waterloo train station. They all had backpacks on and Ruth had a sixth sense that explosives were inside. No logic was telling her that, she just had a feeling. And in this job, you relied on instinct. She picked up her phone and called through to Harry's office.

"We need to evacuate Waterloo station now," she said firmly. He glared at her and left his office to talk to her in person, the urgency in her voice needing no further explanation.

"What is it?" he asked her. Everyone else looked at her computer screen as she pointed at the Japanese men.

"No," Dimitri said under his breath. Almost in a fearful whisper. He left the grid at a run, presumably to head straight to Waterloo station. He was lucky it wasn’t rush hour, Ruth thought to herself.

"Tariq, get CO19 down there now," Harry said. "Beth, get Dimitri on the phone. I need to talk to him." Ruth watched Harry organise everyone to catch the terrorists. He left her with no job to do, which she didn't think was a coincidence. Suddenly Ruth's phone began ringing. She picked it up, wondering who it was.

"This is the leader of the Freedom of Japan," a male, slightly accented voice came through. Ruth put it on speaker so everyone else could hear. "As you know, we have three bombers in Waterloo station. I imagine you are on your way to arrest them right now. If that happens I will release a code which will automatically detonate those three bombs, and five others located around your capital city. So I advise you to let them through."

"What do you want?" Harry said in a calmer voice than he felt.

"At the moment, all I want is for you to allow my men to leave the station. I will call when I require anything else."

“Stop playing around and tell us what you want,” Harry said. There was no reply. The man disconnected the call without a word and Harry turned to Tariq. "Trace?"

"Yep, a flat in London. Address is 32 Walker street," Tariq said after some frantic typing.

"Beth, go over there with back up now," Harry said firmly and she left the grid. "Ruth, find me something on these idiots. Now." Ruth smiled and began doing what she did best.

* * *

 

Ruth stretched her neck from side to side, making the bones pop slightly from the tension. It had been a long day. She closed her eyes as her computer shut down. Dimitri had eventually caught up with the man who had called them earlier in the day. There had been a shoot out and the terrorist had died before they could question him. Once he was out of action it hadn't been too difficult to round up all the other UK members of the FJ, with a little help from both Ruth's infallible research, and Tariq‘s quick thinking.

She relaxed as she felt Harry's hands rubbing her shoulders lightly. She hadn't heard him walk behind her but she needed his presence. Everyone else had gone home and she felt glad as his hands continued to work on her back. He had talented fingers as he kept massaging her upper back. Very talented, and she sighed quietly in contentment.

"You didn't listen to me," Harry said quietly.

"What?"

"Its nearly midnight and you didn't go home," Harry said.

"So sack me," Ruth said, enjoying his touch far too much to care at that moment in time. "You need me at work. Who else distracts you from your job long enough to stare out of your office window all day long?" Harry chuckled but didn't apologise.

"It seems you are a very distracting presence," he whispered against her neck, sending shivers down her spine. After a moment he resumed rubbing her shoulders. "I knew there was a reason I got more done when you weren't here." Ruth smiled but said nothing. She didn't want to be reminded of any time that was spent away from Harry. She felt him move her hair and kiss her neck gently.

"Is it horrible that I feel so happy after a day filled with bomb threats and Japanese terrorists?" Ruth asked.

"No," Harry said quietly. "I think we’ve waited long enough to be happy." She turned and looked into his eyes, nodding.

"Shall we go home?" Ruth asked, collecting her things together. Harry smiled and they left the pods together.


	6. Chapter 6

 

Two months passed in a relatively calm state. The days passed quickly and for the most part, happily. One day, Ruth woke up to Harry kissing her cheek gently. She murmured as she woke slowly and looked at Harry through bleary eyes. He was dressed and clearly going somewhere.

"What is it?" Ruth mumbled.

"Meeting with the Home Secretary," Harry said quietly. "Stay in bed. I'll see you later at work."

"Okay," Ruth said feeling her heart sink. Harry kissed her again and gave her bump a gentle pat. She watched him leave and felt horrible. He had forgotten. Today she was having an ultrasound to check the baby was all right. She had told Harry about it but the pressures of the job seemed to have driven it out of his mind. She sighed, getting out of bed, knowing that she wouldn't get any more sleep now. She wondered to herself if this was how it was going to be from now on. If her and the baby would take the backseat compared to his job. His career, MI5, the grid. And everything that went with it. Suddenly she wasn't looking forward to her hospital appointment at all.

* * *

 

Ruth sat in the waiting room wondering if Harry had remembered. She wondered if he had noticed she wasn't on the grid yet, and if it had clicked, the reason why. She looked at her hand, her wedding ring shining in the hospital light, sighing.

"Ruth Evershed," a nurse announced. Ruth got up from her seat, feeling surprisingly grateful that she had chosen to keep her name when she married Harry. Ruth walked through to the examination room and greeted her doctor.

"How are you feeling?" she asked as Ruth settled herself down on the examination table.

"Fine," Ruth said honestly.

"Are you on your own?" the doctor asked with a smile. "We have a few minutes if you want to wait for the father."

"Yeah, I don't think he's coming," Ruth said sadly. The doctor smiled sympathetically as if she understood and started pressing buttons on the machine. After a few minutes the doctor put cold gel on her stomach. Ruth turned her head as the door opened suddenly. Harry appeared there seeming a little out of breath.

"I thought you'd forgotten," Ruth said quietly, feeling the knot of anxious tension in her stomach ease somewhat.

"Meeting ran long," Harry said, sitting next to her. "Of course I didn't forget. Who do you take me for?" He kissed the top of her head as the image of their baby came up on screen with perfect timing. They spent long minutes in silence as they watched their child in wonder. After a while the doctor interrupted their thoughts.

"Okay, it looks as though everything is healthy here," she said studying the screen. "The right size, heartbeat strong. Do you want to know the sex?" she asked quietly. Ruth turned and looked at Harry.

"What do you think?" she asked.

"Whatever you want," Harry said sincerely.

"I think I want to know," Ruth said smiling with her eyes sparkling.

"Okay," Harry replied. Ruth turned her head and looked at the doctor waiting.

"Your baby is a girl," she said smiling at them. The doctor looked at them and decided to leave them alone for a few moments. Harry squeezed her hand tightly.

"A little girl," he said quietly.

"I thought it was a girl," Ruth said, watching the screen with wonder. "Just felt like it." Harry put a finger under her chin and tilted her head towards her. He kissed her slowly and passionately. They were interrupted by the door opening as the doctor came back in.

"Sorry," she said, smiling at them as they broke apart. Ruth blushed slightly but grinned at the same time. Her joy simply could not be contained.

When they left the doctors they headed straight back to the grid. Harry had been quiet in the car for a while and Ruth was starting to worry.

"What is it?" Ruth asked as he parked.

"Did you really think I'd forgotten? About your scan?" he asked turning to her. Ruth looked at her hands.

"Yes," she said after a while. "I'm sorry."

"You are never going to be forgotten by me," Harry said. "No matter what happens. I promise."

"I should know better," she said quietly.

"Yes, you should," Harry echoed, looking deeply into her blue eyes. "I love you. I love you so much that it actually hurts when I'm away from you. I couldn't forget you if I tried."

"I'm sorry," Ruth repeated, flicking her hair behind her ears. "I don't deserve you."

"Don't talk like that," Harry said. He leant over to her and kissed her deeply. After several seconds Ruth could feel her heart rate speeding up from the way he touched her. She didn't think she would ever get used to it, no matter how long she was married to him.

"We should get back to work," Harry said, getting his breath back.

"Mm," she murmured against his lips, leaning in for a last kiss before walking into Thames House.


	7. Chapter 7

"I hate this," Ruth said waddling around her kitchen. She was nearly nine months pregnant and Harry had insisted that she stay at home. Ruth had agreed in the end, given the size of her stomach and the fact that she knew Harry wouldn't work at all if she was there. He would be beyond distracting, and she didn’t want to be a nuisance.

"You are not going to work," Harry replied. They had this argument every morning before he left for the grid. Now it had become a habit more than anything else. She sat down on a kitchen chair and screwed her face up slightly.

"Are you alright?" Harry asked worried, walking over to her and putting a hand on her shoulder gently.

"Hm," she said nodding. "The baby is kicking really hard." Harry put his hands on her stomach and he could feel the massive movements of their baby. "Oh!" Ruth gasped loudly after a huge kick.

"Does that hurt?” Harry asked after the baby stopped moving.

"No," she said happily. "Or not really. It does take my breath away every now and then. You should go. Terrorist to catch. Bombs to find. Beth, Dimitri and Tariq to order around."

"Yes," Harry said. He kissed her passionately before leaving the house. Ruth watched him drive away from her window and then started talking to her stomach.

"You've had enough haven't you?" she asked rubbing her hands over her taut skin. "You want to come out now? Okay then." Her due date wasn't for a week more but she could tell something wasn't right. It felt odd. "Well, your daddy isn't here so its just you and me. Do I need to go to the hospital or are you going to stay put for a while longer?" The baby didn't move at all and Ruth decided to stay in her house until she got another indication. She’d heard of horrific labours that took days, so she assumed she had the time.

* * *

 

An hour later, Ruth knew it was time. She called a taxi to take her to the hospital. She didn't want to call an ambulance because she felt it was selfish of her when someone else might really need one. She didn't want to bother Harry until she was sure that the baby was coming. She was sure he’d want to be bothered, but she’d feel foolish if it were only a false alarm. So until a doctor told her, she wouldn’t call him.

She was checked into the hospital quickly and settled into the hospital bed. Soon a doctor examined her and confirmed what she suspected.

"Yes, this little one is on its way," she said with a smile.

"Okay," Ruth said. She waited until she was alone and pulled her mobile phone out. She called straight through to Harry's office. She was shocked when Beth answered.

"Beth? I thought I called Harry," Ruth said checking her phone to see which number she'd dialled.

"Yes, you did," Beth said.

"What's wrong?" Ruth asked, knowing that for someone else to be answering Harry's office phone they were in trouble.

"Um…"

"Just tell me," Ruth said, screwing her face up as she felt a contraction go through her, her skin tightening for a few moments.

"He told me not to tell you if you called," Beth said chewing her lip. She didn't like lying to Ruth.

"Beth, where is my husband?" Ruth asked shortly.

"He's gone to meet an Al Qaeda asset," Beth said sighing.

"Why would he do that?!"

"Because the asset demanded a high officer and if he wasn't indulged he was going to order his snipers to shoot whoever turned up."

"Is that meant to be comforting?" Ruth asked feeling the fear grip her.

"That's why he told me to lie to you," Beth said. "Are you okay? Do you need Harry?"

"I'm fine," she lied. "Can you get him to call my mobile when he gets back on the grid?"

"Yes of course," Beth said. "It might be a while though."

"Okay," Ruth said biting her lip trying to remain quiet as she felt another contraction. "I need to know he's okay. And alive," she added pointedly.

"He will call you, I promise," Beth said.

"Can you ring if… If anything goes wrong?" Ruth asked.

"Ruth…"

"I need to know," she replied firmly.

"Okay. I'll call," Beth said. "But he will be fine. He's come through much worse than this and you know it."

"Yeah. Bye Beth." Ruth threw her phone in her bag, worrying like crazy. What a stupid man! Going to meet someone from AQ, what the hell was he thinking! An unfamiliar doctor came in her room, interrupting her thoughts.

"Hi, I'm Doctor Stevens," she said, standing next to Ruth. "You can call me Angela. Are you ready to become a mother?" She spoke with an annoyingly cheerful voice and Ruth already wanted to slap her.

"Sort of," Ruth said, trying to stop worrying about Harry.

"Do you need to call the father?" Angela asked.

"He's busy," Ruth said.

"Too busy to drop whatever he's doing and support his wife who's giving birth to his child?" Angela asked with raised eyebrows.

"Apparently," Ruth said, not wanting to talk about Harry. Angela clearly didn't approve but she kept her mouth shut for which Ruth felt very grateful.

* * *

 

An hour passed and Ruth was in a lot of pain as it became apparent that this baby didn't want to hang around. It was coming quickly. Ruth picked up her phone when the doctor left her alone for a minute. Beth picked up again making Ruth's heart drop like a stone.

"He's not back yet," Beth said straight away.

"Should he be?" Ruth said breathing heavily. "Should I start panicking?"

"Ruth, are you alright? You sound terrible," Beth said concerned.

"Actually, I'm in quite a lot of pain and I need to talk to Harry," Ruth said, fighting the pain of another contraction. "Where is he?"

"Okay, he should have been back by now but don't worry," Beth said. "We're on it and he will be fine. Now, what's wrong with you?"

"I'm in labour," Ruth said bluntly.

"But you're not due for another week!" Beth replied.

"Well tell that to my daughter because she doesn't seem inclined to wait another seven days," Ruth said bluntly. She gasped for breath for about a minute before managing to speak again. "Look, I need Harry," Ruth said, breathing heavily. "I need to know he's alive and not been shot by a terrorist. So if you could tell him to come to St Mary’s hospital when he gets back onto the grid, I'd appreciate it." Ruth hung up throwing her phone angrily onto her bed. The anger was coming from fear, because she didn't know how she would be able to cope if anything happened to him. She groaned as she felt another wave of pain go through her.


	8. Chapter 8

Ruth was shattered but happy. She held her newborn daughter in her arms, watching her perfect sleeping face. So precious and fragile and perfect. The newborn had a small amount of dark hair which Ruth touched almost reverently. After all the waiting of the past nine months, she was here.

Harry still hadn't arrived at the hospital and Ruth was worrying frantically. She kept calling Beth but she had no news and was clearly getting irritated by Ruth's constant calls. So she decided to stop calling. Every time she did it raised her hopes, only to have them fall. Beth would tell her if there were any developments, good or bad.

She laid down in bed, cuddling her daughter close, kissing her head. "I'm sure your daddy will be here soon," she said with a confidence she didn't really feel.

* * *

 

Harry emerged onto the grid after an incredibly exhausting day. He had been bundled into a car boot, searched several times over before being taken to an unknown location which looked like an underground bunker. He had been eventually given some useful information on a memory stick and been released, after being punched in the jaw once for good measure. His jaw felt bruised even now, and he knew it would take a while before he felt back to normal. Before it didn’t hurt when he opened his mouth.

As the pods whirred open Beth approached him looking very relieved. Harry passed the memory stick to Tariq to be decrypted and all the technological wizardry he‘d subject it to.

"Harry, you need to go to the hospital," Beth said firmly. "Ruth…"

"Is she okay?" Harry asked, his face creasing with worry immediately, his eyes demanding the truth in their intensity.

"She went into labour hours ago," Beth said, knowing there was no good way to break this news to him. Harry stood stock still, his mind racing.

"I need to go," he said slowly. "Is she okay?"

"Yes," Beth said with a smile. "So is your daughter." Harry kept watching her carefully.

"She's had the baby?"

"Yes," Beth said.

"You didn't tell her what I was doing did you?" Harry asked. Beth's silence was incriminating. "Beth!"

"Well, what was I supposed to do!" Beth said loudly. "This is Ruth remember? She wanted to know why you weren't answering your phone and couldn't turn up at the hospital when she was giving birth to your baby. So instead of arguing with me, maybe you should leave and find your wife." Harry didn't reply and decided to follow her advice.

* * *

 

Harry quietly opened her hospital door and saw Ruth asleep on the bed. He smiled, loving how her face relaxed in the innocence of sleep. Then he saw the cot at the bottom of her bed. A cot which held a tiny baby asleep, her left fist curled into a ball. Harry felt his heart skip a beat as he watched his beautiful, newborn daughter. After a minute the door opened and a young nurse came in.

"Oh," she said surprised. "Should you be here?"

"That's my wife," Harry said calmly. "And my daughter." He looked down at the cot and felt incredibly shocked. The baby had opened her eyes. They were Ruth's blue grey eyes that were staring back at him. Exactly Ruth’s eyes on this brand new life.

"Do you want to hold her?" the nurse asked, seeing Harry awestruck at the sight of his daughter.

"I would like that very much," Harry said quietly. The nurse picked up the baby and slowly handed her to Harry. He smiled as his daughter looked at him with perfectly innocent eyes. The nurse quietly left the room and Harry couldn't believe how beautiful she was. Just like her mother. He sat down next to Ruth while cradling their daughter, the late afternoon sunlight shining on her face.

"Where were you?" Ruth said in a very tired voice, turning her head to her husband and child as her eyes opened blearily.

"Being kidnapped by an Al Qaeda asset and being manhandled until they thought I could be trusted with the memory stick they wanted to hand over," Harry said, his gaze flicking from Ruth to their daughter. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you."

"I know it wasn't your fault," Ruth said, watching her family. "I was worried about you though."

"I know," he said calmly. "Have we got a name for this little one yet?"

"No, not really," Ruth said. She fidgeted in bed and winced slightly as she turned over. "What do you think?"

"I think she's beautiful, just like you," Harry said.

"I meant about the name," Ruth replied, smiling at him and his clear joy in their girl.

"I have been thinking," Harry said. "Long hours in the office when my main cause of distraction has been on maternity leave."

"Do you really watch me that often?" Ruth asked blushing.

"Of course I do," Harry said. "Anyway, I liked Louisa. For her."

Ruth watched her daughters face carefully. "Yeah. Louisa sounds good."

Harry turned and faced her, immensely surprised. "You're not going to argue with me on something as important as our daughters name?"

"No," Ruth said simply. "I honestly hadn't thought of any names at all."

"Why?" Harry asked. It was so unlike Ruth to be unprepared for anything at all, let alone something this important.

"Because ever since the bomb in Paris I was terrified I was going to lose her," Ruth said simply. "I didn't allow myself to think about it, just in case the worst happened."

"Oh Ruth," he said sadly. "The worst didn't happen. And now we have a beautiful baby girl."

"I know. Louisa sounds good," she repeated with a smile. "Can you hand her over? I want to hold her again." Harry nodded and passed the baby over carefully. Ruth looked into her daughters eyes and wondered at the fact that someone she had never known before today was a person she could love so fiercely. "Louisa Pearce."

"She doesn't have to have my last name if you don't want," Harry said.

"Yes she does," Ruth said turning to Harry for a moment. "Of course she does."

"Louisa Pearce it is then," Harry said, tucking a strand of hair behind his wife's ear gently. He watched both the women in his life and remembered why he put his own life on the line for his job day in, day out. To protect the people he loved.


End file.
